Location: York and Northern Parkway, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 4.9/5
Description: The voice over says it all. I think it’s safe to assume that we all walked into this video assuming amateur hour and instead got a lesson from the master.

We usually don’t see that kind of talent in the median, and not because the police enforce our “no panhandling in the median” law, but rather because talent like that doesn’t last long in areas with a speed limit of 50…


Location: Park Ave and Fayette, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 4.8/5
Description: This near-perfect lean only gets better when this dude tries to “thread the needle” between a parking meter and a car four feet away… and misses. He does eventually make it through, and this of course deserves a celebration… in the middle of the street… where he passed out again.

Baltimore. Fuck Yeah!


Location: Maryland and Biddle, Baltimore, MDRating: 4.0/5Caption: Thor here was walking about a block in front of me with a bright blue frozen drink in one hand and a big plastic bag in the other.  I was walking past him when he started doing the familiar dance.
I could have gotten a much clearer, closer picture, but I have a significant inner conflict about this whole topic.
Opiate addiction is a tragedy, and Baltimore is riddled with it.   Yet some of the best comedy is developed as a method of coping with tragedy…so I find myself torn about this blog, and the very idea of taking pictures of the various junkie leans I’ve seen.  
Maybe I’m too fucking serious.
Anyway, this was the first time I’d really felt it was too good to miss.  This guy was a serious trooper.  He simply refused to drop.  He put down his drink and bag and ended up doing a couple of 360’s (in the picture, he’s facing the reverse of the direction he was walking) but he was still on his feet as I left.Description: First off, fucking great lean and thanks for sharing. Secondly, I broke my standard practice of truncating captions here because I wanted to share that one in it’s entirety.
This caption is great because besides sounding like a soliloquies from Hamlet, it shows the inner conflict Baltimoreans face every day with our heroin-enhanced neighbors. Do you try to help them, report them or just simply ignore them? Well, ignoring them didn’t work and just gave them a license to shoot dope on your streets, helping them doesn’t work because 99% of addicts blasted out of their mind I’ve ever talked to just get pissed at you for ruining their high, and calling the cops is pointless because the cops can’t do shit unless they are actively shooting up and even then it’s in such small quantities they’ll be out the next day.
So as a city we choose the fourth option - Humor. If you can’t laugh at it you’re just going to cry, and I want to thank this guy for joining the rest of us here at TGOH who learned how to laugh a little. And don’t feel like a bad person, with any luck this guy will find his way and look back and laugh with us.

Location: Maryland and Biddle, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 4.0/5
Caption: Thor here was walking about a block in front of me with a bright blue frozen drink in one hand and a big plastic bag in the other.  I was walking past him when he started doing the familiar dance.

I could have gotten a much clearer, closer picture, but I have a significant inner conflict about this whole topic.

Opiate addiction is a tragedy, and Baltimore is riddled with it.   Yet some of the best comedy is developed as a method of coping with tragedy…so I find myself torn about this blog, and the very idea of taking pictures of the various junkie leans I’ve seen.  

Maybe I’m too fucking serious.

Anyway, this was the first time I’d really felt it was too good to miss.  This guy was a serious trooper.  He simply refused to drop.  He put down his drink and bag and ended up doing a couple of 360’s (in the picture, he’s facing the reverse of the direction he was walking) but he was still on his feet as I left.
Description: First off, fucking great lean and thanks for sharing. Secondly, I broke my standard practice of truncating captions here because I wanted to share that one in it’s entirety.

This caption is great because besides sounding like a soliloquies from Hamlet, it shows the inner conflict Baltimoreans face every day with our heroin-enhanced neighbors. Do you try to help them, report them or just simply ignore them? Well, ignoring them didn’t work and just gave them a license to shoot dope on your streets, helping them doesn’t work because 99% of addicts blasted out of their mind I’ve ever talked to just get pissed at you for ruining their high, and calling the cops is pointless because the cops can’t do shit unless they are actively shooting up and even then it’s in such small quantities they’ll be out the next day.

So as a city we choose the fourth option - Humor. If you can’t laugh at it you’re just going to cry, and I want to thank this guy for joining the rest of us here at TGOH who learned how to laugh a little. And don’t feel like a bad person, with any luck this guy will find his way and look back and laugh with us.


Blog Awards…

Baltimore Sun’s Mobbie award nominations are over and somehow we didn’t end up on the list… again…


Location: Federal Hill, Baltimore, MDRating: 2.3/5Caption: "…I almost felt guilty for calling an ambulance and wake him from his slumber, but I didn’t want to deal with the possibility of a dead junkie on my doorstep."Description: I can think of nothing more badass to tell all my co-workers who live in the county than I’m going to be late to work because there is a dead junkie on my doorstep. I think after a call like that I’d be be able to take two donuts on Raven’s Friday and no one would say a damn thing.

Location: Federal Hill, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 2.3/5
Caption: "…I almost felt guilty for calling an ambulance and wake him from his slumber, but I didn’t want to deal with the possibility of a dead junkie on my doorstep."
Description: I can think of nothing more badass to tell all my co-workers who live in the county than I’m going to be late to work because there is a dead junkie on my doorstep. I think after a call like that I’d be be able to take two donuts on Raven’s Friday and no one would say a damn thing.


Location: Federal Hill Park, Baltimore, MDRating: 2.5/5Description: This lean would score a lot of points at Jessup, but at TGOH we expect a lot more from our submissions. Sorry Mork from Ork, but real heroin addicts don’t use benches that way.

Location: Federal Hill Park, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 2.5/5
Description: This lean would score a lot of points at Jessup, but at TGOH we expect a lot more from our submissions. Sorry Mork from Ork, but real heroin addicts don’t use benches that way.


Location: Green Street and Pratt, Baltimore, MDRating: 2.6/5Description: I can’t decide whether the junkie is photobombing the hot dog dude, or if the hot dog dude is photobombing the junkie… You decide.

Location: Green Street and Pratt, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 2.6/5
Description: I can’t decide whether the junkie is photobombing the hot dog dude, or if the hot dog dude is photobombing the junkie… You decide.


Location: Charles and 24th, Baltimore, MDRating: 3.1/5Description: I don’t usually give anything over a 3 to someone lying down, but one look at the flip phone and the inner-hipster in me threw him some extra points. Or maybe I took a horseshoe rating and added one for leaning against the pole?Either way, this dude needs to do us all a favor and stick to the heroin and not so much crack.

Location: Charles and 24th, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 3.1/5
Description: I don’t usually give anything over a 3 to someone lying down, but one look at the flip phone and the inner-hipster in me threw him some extra points. Or maybe I took a horseshoe rating and added one for leaning against the pole?

Either way, this dude needs to do us all a favor and stick to the heroin and not so much crack.


Location: York Rd and Belvedere, Baltimore, MDRating: 3.9/5Description: You can thank none other than Baltimore-native Sisqo for this horrific image… I’m in the process of collecting pictures and video of all the fat, heroin-addled, thong-wearing women in Baltimore for the music video for my upcoming single “The Wrong Song”. Look for it on my upcoming album Chasing the Dragon.

Location: York Rd and Belvedere, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 3.9/5
Description: You can thank none other than Baltimore-native Sisqo for this horrific image… I’m in the process of collecting pictures and video of all the fat, heroin-addled, thong-wearing women in Baltimore for the music video for my upcoming single “The Wrong Song”. Look for it on my upcoming album Chasing the Dragon.


Location: Boston, MARating: 3.2/5Description: The only thing which disappoints me more than the O’s not making it to the playoffs this year is having to watch Boston in the world series. It’s not that I have anywhere near the hatred for the Sox as I do the Yankees, it’s just that if their team does well there is a greater chance I’ll have to put up with their annoying fans next year in Camden Yards.
When Boston has a good season they flood Camden Yards the next year and I inevitably end up sitting next to some yuppie asshole and his pasty-white spawn with some fucking Ikea name like Madison or Tanner. Every damn time they are in town and I also have the pleasure of overhearing the same fucking trite conversations with their kids about how dangerous Baltimore is because they saw half an episode of The Wire once. 
Listen Boston, I get it. We have a fucking awesome park which isn’t shaped like a rorschach test, so of course you want to visit. Just stop talking shit about my city when you’re here, and for God’s sake get your kids some sun!!

Location: Boston, MA
Rating: 3.2/5
Description: The only thing which disappoints me more than the O’s not making it to the playoffs this year is having to watch Boston in the world series. It’s not that I have anywhere near the hatred for the Sox as I do the Yankees, it’s just that if their team does well there is a greater chance I’ll have to put up with their annoying fans next year in Camden Yards.

When Boston has a good season they flood Camden Yards the next year and I inevitably end up sitting next to some yuppie asshole and his pasty-white spawn with some fucking Ikea name like Madison or Tanner. Every damn time they are in town and I also have the pleasure of overhearing the same fucking trite conversations with their kids about how dangerous Baltimore is because they saw half an episode of The Wire once. 

Listen Boston, I get it. We have a fucking awesome park which isn’t shaped like a rorschach test, so of course you want to visit. Just stop talking shit about my city when you’re here, and for God’s sake get your kids some sun!!